Grief is not something we experience only in our hearts and minds, Our bodies can carry its weight, too.
After losing a child, you may find yourself living in a constant state of worry, especially when your surviving children are away from you. You may struggle to sleep until everyone is safely home. Your heart may race when a phone call goes unanswered. You may feel tension in your body or find yourself imagining situations that have not happened.
Your mind is trying to protect you from experiencing another devastating loss. But remaining in a constant state of alertness can become physically and emotionally exhausting.
Prolonged stress and anxiety can contribute to headaches, muscle tension, digestive problems, sleep disturbances, fatigue and increased blood pressure. Over time, chronic stress can also affect your overall health.
Your body needs opportunities to rest, just as your heart needs opportunities to heal. And there is something important I want you to understand.
Taking care of yourself does not mean you are forgetting the child you lost.
Allowing yourself to rest does not diminish your love. Experiencing happiness does not mean your grief has disappeared. And finding moments of peace does not mean you have stopped remembering.
You have already experienced an unimaginable loss. You deserve compassion, understanding, and support as you learn to care for yourself through the grief that remains.
Sometimes that support may come from family, friends, or others who understand your experience. Sometimes it may come from a grief counselor, trauma-informed therapist, or healthcare professional. There is no shame in asking for help.
You deserve to be healthy. You deserve to experience joy. And you deserve to live the life that is still unfolding before you.
The river has carried you through a painful storm. You cannot undo what happened, but with time and support, you may begin discovering moments when the water feels peaceful again. You do not have to navigate every current alone.